Ughhhhhhhh!!! Well, if you read my last blog entitled " Total Fail " you know the troubles I'm going through, and the new challenge plan I set for myself. Well, I woke up late Sunday ( around 2pm ) and it took me about an hour and a half to get going after that. I set the DVR to record the Steeler game. I knew I was in serious run mode then because the Steelers were only playing the hated Tom Brady and the Patriots, and I decided I had to run during this time, because if I even started watching any of the game, that would be it, I wouldn't run.
My plan was to do 8 miles, but once I stepped outside and got going, I changed it to 6 miles. I didn't feel myself, and was winded ( or so my mind was telling me I was winded ) after the first mile. I purposely didn't wear my heart monitor because I wanted to see if that made a difference with my mental state. Guess what? I think it made it worse. I was really struggling during my run! I had all types of negative thoughts going through my head, and the worst of them was , " You need to stop, your too tired!! " My 8 miler, that turned into a 6 miler, quickly transitioned into a 4 miler!!!! I got about the 2 and three quarters mark, and took a 2 minute walk break!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I never walk!! But my mind said to walk, so I did. Then, about the 3 and a half mark, what did I do?? Yep, walked for another 2 minutes!!!! I didn't even finish 4 miles!!!! I did 3.82 miles!!!
I tried to look at the positive side by thinking , " Hey, at least I got in a run ". It was a slow, horrible run, but it was a run!!! I'm a perfectionist, and I tend to think that, since I've been to the top if the mountain many of times, I can just get to the top again without working my way back up it first!!! I always think I can pick right back up from where I once was. No questions asked!!!! I need to learn that is not the case!!! I guess I feel like I've failed if I cannot do something I've done with ease before. It really amazes me how mental this running thing is!!!
So i've altered my running plan for this week. I've already got almost 4 miles in, so tonight, when I get in Houston, I'm gonna do some speed work, and weights. The next day, when I get into San Antonio, I am again going to try to do 6 miles. When I get into Newark on Wednesday around 2pm, I'll goto the gym again and hit the weights, and maybe 4 miles on the treadmill. Let's see. I have a 4 mile race coming up on November 20th in Central Park, and I want to beat my 35 minutes and 19 seconds I did on the September race in Central Park. I CAN DO THIS!!!!
I'm a long way away from the 16 miles I was doing just a few short months ago. Breaking that mental block again is a toughie.
-Running to a town near you!!!
Mike
I feel the same way lately. I have been reading chicken soup 4 the runners soul, and I love that book. I think it will help. I read it last yr during pgh training. I read this trick that works for me most of the time..when my mind says i'm tired, I say over and over and over i'm strong. When my mind says I am uncomfortable or in pain, I say over and over I feel great. When I am winded..i say over and over I am breathing good..air feels good in my lungs. The idea is the mind will tell your body you're ok. Works wonders 4 me. Walk breaks are ok. A lot of aricles and books i've read claim that sometimes walk breaks actually improve your time over-all. I hear you, though! It shall pass! Keep working hard!
ReplyDeleteShannon, Thanks for the advice :) I tried this yesterday, and I think it helped!!! I cut my run short though because I had plans, but I am going to try this again when I do my long run...I will keep ya posted!! Thanks again
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